The Bookshelf: ‘Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most’

Published 2:00 pm Saturday, December 14, 2024

The Dalton-Whitfield County Public Library partnered with Dalton State College’s Roberts Library in October and November for One Community Reads, a community-wide reading project.

This project brings communities together through shared discussions and events based on reading. “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen was the book chosen for our first program.

This book is a best-selling third edition that has been updated to address issues such as social media and communications via technology. It is a must-read for everyone; difficult conversations are a normal part of life. We have all had those moments when we wanted to communicate with others but were having a hard time doing it.

One thing I learned from this book is that a difficult conversation is actually three conversations. First, you have the “What happened?” conversation; second, you have the feelings conversation; and third, you have the identity conversation.

There are other key insights such as when to pursue a conversation or when to let it go which they talk about in chapter seven. If you raise the conversation you want to work toward mutual understanding. To do that you want to keep these three purposes in mind:

1. Learn their story.

2. Express your views and feelings.

3. Problem-solve together.

This book is backed by almost 30 years of research. You will learn to challenge difficult conversations, raise tough questions, balance reactions and emotions, and get to the root cause of the issue.

If you are interested in reading this book, copies are available for checkout at the Dalton-Whitfield County Public Library and the Derrell C. Roberts Library.

If you’re interested in exploring our catalog of books, videos, games and audio selections, check out ngrl.org or our social media. Our operating hours are 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Thursday; 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday; and 10 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. on Saturday. You can reach us at (706) 876-1360.

Brandy Wyatt is the administrator of the Dalton-Whitfield County Public Library.